Why Is Everyone Talking to Me Like a Child?

Brian development in addiction

aka someone who’s been there and made it out

Let me say something you might not want to hear, especially if you’re in early recovery:

The reason everyone talks to you like a child... is because you kind of are.

Not in your soul. Not in your worth. Not in your potential.But neurologically?Your brain isn’t fully developed—and if you’ve been in active addiction, you might’ve paused emotional growth years ago.

I know that sounds harsh. But stay with me.

Let’s Talk Brain Science for a Minute

Here’s what’s wild:Every morning when you wake up, your brain makes a call:

Should we advance? Or should we repair?

If your body got what it needed the day before—hydration, sleep, nutrition, calm—then your brain goes into growth mode. That’s when we form new pathways, process emotions, retain learning. We mature.

But when you’re using, hungover, stressed out, or even just jacked up on sugar and scrolling TikTok till 3am?

Your brain can’t advance. It goes into repair mode. And that means you stay stuck.

How Addiction Stalls Maturity

Addiction isn’t just about getting high or drunk.It’s about repeated misuse of any substance or behavior to the point that your brain never gets a chance to evolve.

Let’s break it down:

• The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that handles decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation—doesn’t fully develop until age 25 (and later if trauma is present).

• If you started drinking, using, or numbing out at age 15, and stayed in that pattern for 10 years, then yeah—you’re walking around physically 25 but mentally 15.

• That’s not just a vibe. That’s real neuroscience.

A 2022 study in Frontiers in Psychiatry found that long-term substance use can delay emotional development by 5–10 years, especially if use began during adolescence.

This Isn’t Just About Drugs

Addiction isn’t limited to substances. Let’s get real:

• Doomscrolling for 4 hours a night? That’s nervous system abuse.

• Starving yourself or bingeing? That’s trauma responding.

• Obsessively checking texts, social media, dating apps? Same cycle.

  
  

Anything that disrupts rest, nutrition, connection, or regulation can keep you stuck.

So if you feel like an adult on paper but a confused teenager in your actual life—you’re not broken.You’re delayed. And you’re not alone.

The Good News: Repair Is Rapid

Here’s where the miracle kicks in.The moment you set the addiction down—even for a little while—your brain begins to heal.

Neuroplasticity (aka the brain’s ability to rewire) kicks into overdrive. Your liver starts regenerating within hours. Your heart, your sleep, your digestion—all start to bounce back fast.

According to the NIH, in just two weeks of sobriety, your brain shows increased gray matter in areas responsible for memory and decision-making.In 30 days, you can experience a 20–30% boost in cognitive function.

That’s insane. That’s grace. That’s science.

So Why Do People Still Treat Me Like a Kid?

Because your reactions, your logic, your emotional regulation—they’re still rebooting.

And that’s okay.You don’t need shame.You need time, care, and repetition.

But yeah—when someone says “you’re acting 15”? They might be more right than wrong.And that’s not an insult. It’s a starting point.

Real Talk from a Survivor

When I first got sober, I had three kids, a record, and a bullet in my spine.I still acted like a teenager. I threw tantrums, made reckless choices, and thought “boundaries” were for boring people.

But every day I stayed sober—even when I was broke, blind, tired, and pissed off—my brain got better.

Today I can regulate. I can sit in silence. I can lead others.But I had to rebuild myself like I was raising my own inner kid.

Healing looks like parenting yourself. Let your brain catch up. You’re not behind. You’re in progress.

Stephanie Ramire-Pelletier